The Importance of Friendship
I used to subscribe to the idea of not having a lot of female friends! I used to think that it was messy and dramatic because I had bad experiences with a lot of friendships in school. However, what I’ve learned as an adult is that having the right people around you CHANGES EVERYTHING. And the reason why a lot of my friendships failed in the past was that I didn’t understand who I was and I allowed people to treat me any kind of way and never vocalized what I needed. I was a people pleaser in the worst way. So even if I was hurting, I just sucked it up because I wanted people to like me. I was desperate for it.
I’ll never forget when I signed up for a class at my church and the facilitator did a one on one with me and she READ me in the worst way! I WAS PISSED! She called me fake and phony y’all! I was LIVID! That wasn’t all that she said but it was the part that stuck out to me the most because I prided myself on being there for people and making their lives better! But what she was basically trying to get across to me was the fact that if I am only doing these things to please people and I’m always conforming to make others comfortable when do I get to authentically be myself? Who wants to live a life like this? So, what was I really mad about? I was mad at the fact that she exposed me to myself! Looking in the mirror and taking accountability for the things that are going wrong in your life is a very tough pill to swallow. It was one of the best things that ever happened to me!
What she exposed to me is that I suffered from the spirit of rejection. I just always thought I was insecure or had imposter syndrome and I needed to build my confidence. However, the root of all those things was REJECTION. I thought I was protecting myself by making sure everyone liked me I was really operating out of FEAR. I read this book called “Destroying the Spirit of Rejection” by John Eckhart and it changed my life. God created us to have companionship. In Genesis 2:18 He said it was not good for man to be alone. God gave Adam Eve but because everyone does not get married, I understand that also means that friendships are VALUABLE and necessary.
Healthy friendships enhance you! They make you better. I am so grateful to God that he has surrounded me with people who make me better! So this blog is dedicated to them! Not just the beautiful women in the photo because listen that is my TRIBE! But to the many others who SEE me! It’s a beautiful thing to be loved by people who really see you. That love includes correction as well. I think sometimes we get so caught up in thinking that love is always butterflies and roses but sometimes it’s muddy. I think that the right friends will get in the mud with you to pull you out. They will pray for you like never before and they will tell you about yourself when you are wrong because they expect THE BEST out of you. They see the BEST in you and you need a circle that won’t let you stay in a mediocre space.
Who are you surrounded by? Is it people who build you up or people who pull you down? Examine your circle and pray! One thing that I’ve always prayed is Lord Reveal, Release, and Replace anyone in my life who doesn’t have your heart towards me. Now don’t pray this prayer if you ain’t ready for some people to drop off because they will and oftentimes it’s the person you least expect to but then be open because EVEN in ADULTHOOD God will bring you people who will LOVE YOU. Provers 18: 24 TPT says “Some friendships don’t last for long, but there is one loving friend who is joined to your heart closer than any other”.
In this process of friendship, you absolutely have to trust God. You for sure should be healed yourself so that you are not putting all your insecurities on your friend to fix. Friendship is a process, but it is worth it when you find a tribe like the one I have to make you better.
So, to my tribe…Thank you! Thank you for loving me! Thank you for seeing me! Thank you for trusting me! I love you all!
Until Next Time loves!